BildungsRoamin

Back in the 10th century, a group of vikings led by this guy named Rollo were tearing up the area around the Seine in modern-day France. The Franks were spending all of their money trying unsuccessfully to defend themselves from these raids. So Charles the Bald, their leader, comes up with a brilliant solution: invite Rollo to become one of his kiss ass dukes (~4:00 in this song) so Rollo would be under control and would protect the Seine from other vikings.

So Charles offers Rollo a duchy. Rollo’s like “Alright, cool. I’m getting to old for this plundering scene, anyway.” So they throw a big ‘you’re about to be a duke’ party at Rouen. Right as dukedom is about to drop, Charles says “By the way, there are two conditions before you can be duke. First, you gotta be Christian.” Rollo’s cool with that. He’s read the Bible and there’s plenty of cool stuff in their about slaughter, vengeance and glory.

Secondly, Rollo has to kiss the foot of his master, Charles. Rollo’s not cool with that… but he wants to be duke. So, he thinks for a second and then snaps his fingers and makes one of his warriors kiss Charles’ foot for him. The warrior goes up to Charles, grabs his leg and holds him upside down to kiss his foot.

And from Rollo we get William the Conqueror and from him we get English. Thanks Rollo.